26 Peice

#26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

A friend once related a story to me about a college professor that asked the students to write about the hardest time in their life and enter it without their name. Many of the papers told of a time when the student had been so without hope that they contemplated ending their life, giving up.
Looking back on my short nineteen years of life, there have been times when I lost hope. I had made too many mistakes, I had been wronged too many times, and no matter how I tried, things would not go my way; I was simply tired of trying. I recognized all my spots and blemishes, all my faults, and I let the adversary convince me that I was not worthy to continue.
In these times it was almost impossible to console me. I was just going about day to day living because I that was all I could do. However, through the good Lord's mercy I have made it this far and my hope for myself and my future are only increasing. I have come to recognize that much learning and growth comes from those times when things get hard, the only difference is that you much hold on to that hope, that belief that this too shall pass.
I am thankful for the people in my life that have gotten me through those hard times. That even though I was being ridiculous and unreasonable, they never gave up on me. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is always willing to forgive my mistakes. Thankful for my very own father who one evening when his daughter was being ridiculous about a dress and everything else in her blessed life, came and held her while she cried and gave her a blessing. Thankful for my older siblings who, although sarcastic and sometimes tough love, are always willing to talk things through with their baby sister.
I know there will be times ahead that are even harder than I can imagine, but I know that the Lord will guide and bless, my family will always be there to help me, and my friends will be there to cheer me on.