The First in a Long While

Hello There,

I caught myself thinking about you just now - I suppose it wasn't so much of a thought as it was a decision. I've been meaning to write you for months, I just haven't known what to say.
I haven't forgotten about you, nor anything you did for me all those years ago and I promise my drifting away from our relationship wasn't because of any negative feelings (I don't have any towards you if you're wondering)... I just got busy.
And maybe a little too self absorbed.
And maybe a little apathetic.

I'm hoping that you're not upset with me - I could understand why if you were but I also know you to be very forgiving and very compassionate so, I hope that shines through for me at the moment. Is that presumptious to wish for? I guess what I'm really trying to say is, I miss having you to talk to and I want to build our relationship bacn to where it used to be, well better than it was (because honestly it wasn't that great if you remember).

I don't know if you keep up on my blog, or ask about me but I haven't seemed to be doing that hott behind the scenes (again). I feel like I have some support again though and I've finally decided to start reaching out for more help, maybe this time will be the last time and you'll never have to hear me wailing again about how worthless I feel, or how not enough I think I am.
Heavens, I miss talking at you. And feeling so frustrated with your silence yet so calm by your presence.

Do you even miss me?
Or think of me?
Or wonder where I am?

To be fair, you moved first. I swear to all that I know that you were the one that took a step away. Don't you remember? I sat there pleading with you and you did nothing, you said nothing, you moved farther away.
And you never explained why.
That is why I stopped caring to keep up communication, really. I was hurt and you seemed like you didn't care anymore. I needed you so badly then and you just never answered back. Just coming to sit with me for a while would have been enough.

Anyway, I'll stop dwelling and get back to the point.
If you're willing, I'm willing.

Hope all is well.
Sincerely,
Me.