The Beasts I Battle

I forgot that it's there. Still hanging out behind my lungs, clinging to my spine.
Somehow along the way, I've gotten too busy, distracting myself -
Trying to forget or convince myself it's different, it's changed, it's gone.
Why am I trying to ignore it?

Good morning, good night, it blurs together and somehow I feel safe and secure.
Slowly it dawns on me - there will be another good morning, but something still worries me;
It's like stepping too far while they stay behind, happens every time.
What makes me think this is different?

People say one thing, I feel another. A little ray of sunshine versus a hurricane.
I'll step into the light, pretend I don't feel the water crushing -
I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can, but actually I don't.
Where is my backbone?