Death Wishes

I've been contemplating death a lot lately. Well, more than the usual fleeting thought. I tend to sleep in until it's time to go to work, I have a hard time breathing at times, and I'm always feeling funny (and by funny I mean I'm constantly in physical pain). I have no real good reason to want to die other than things seem awfully hard and they are only getting harder - and I'm not handling it well.
Today, I was reading some required reading for work and I came across a section with case studies on people with OCD and I thought to myself "Wow, I am so lucky I don't have something like that wrong with me." So - I am not completely ungrateful for this life. Just mostly I suppose.
I keep thinking of that line from Peter Pan 'To die would be an awfully great adventure' but instead of an adventure, I just think of how maybe I will feel at rest. Maybe this pain in my chest will finally go away too.
Someone asked me how I was the other day. I wanted to scream out and tell them how much pain I felt I was in. How I literally wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. How everything around me felt like it was crumbling and that everyone was leaving me and I could not succeed at a single thing I tried. How nothing - absolutely nothing - that I used to find so much joy in gave me any satisfaction anymore, in fact nothing does anymore.
I feel like I am simply existing. That I am an awful human being and I need to just die already. I am of no value here. I am not turning into anything great like everyone I care about expected me to.

I am so done. So very done. So can I just leave now? Please?