Antiques And An Epiphany

I miss the colors, the sounds, the comfort. 
I miss my cats, my second family, the old van I used to drive. 
I miss the lack of rent, the sound of a sewing machine, and free meals.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to go back... 
Sometimes, I dream about it. 
Sometimes, I hope for it.
But should I?

Today, I had an Epiphany in the shower. 

(Truly is the greatest place for an epiphany))

And somewhere between the shampoo and the rinse, I realized what I always thought about...

I am always thinking about the future. 

Did you know I have about five different life plans? 

Each of those have back up plans A thru G, 

Six bullet points each, and 'what if' clauses. 

I am always making plans and fretting about whatever is supposed happen next. 

Planning out the rest of my week, the rest of the month, the next five years...

But when do I ever think about right now?

Never. 

And honestly... 

I don't know how to.